I have become a statistic
Separated, two children and essentially a working single mum of two - more than common these days (sadly some would say)…. I have an amazing relationship with my ex and the girls father better probably than when we were married but the reality is I have become something I never really wanted to be.
Yes I have always been strong minded, independent, dynamic but that does not necessarily equate to wanting to be alone bringing up my children. But weekdays and half the holidays that's exactly what I am. Juggling work, me time and the kids into a jammed day is rewarding but tiring and when you don't have someone to snuggle up next to on the sofa at night for a huge hug then it can get lonely at times….
But better alone than "map accompagné" as they say in French which mean badly accompanied. Yes, I am better, stronger, happier most importantly but I did have visions of growing old with my partner with all that shared past and experience you don't need to explain. My parents are still together and are mostly happy I would say and so would they. They like I had visions of the long term but not to be.
This is not a blog insert to grumble its actually quite an empowering one to say that we can do it. We can be happy, single, a mum, do all the things around the house and garden - I can get up a ladder like the rest of them and store my Winter supply of wood single handedly but it would be soooo nice to have someone say well done darling I have poured you a nice glass of wine, a bath… etc….
My girls are being just super and I think even they are loving the new happy mood that adorns our house and their papa's but I think that they both would also like to see they Mummy fulfilled as a woman. What message are we sending to our children if we are not in couples? I don't think that my girls remember seeing me happy and in love and wrapped in the arms of the man i love. Despite my feminist ten dances I still have a desire to nuture the fairy tales maybe not that happiness in linked to a man sweeping you off you feet but at least that happiness can be found in a couple, it can be shared, fulfilling, loving, harmonious
now there's something to strive for!